I haven't been feeling on tip-top form this week. I have a constant headache, breathlessness, sore eyes, feel shivery and shakey, if I go for a walk it seems to make my joints ache especially my hip joints and I'm sleeping 12 hours a night. My head feels not quite with it and conversation is hard work - I wish I was a hedgehog and could hibernate for the winter. I am very weak and wimpy! The surgery rang on friday and asked me to see the doctor on Monday - guess he just wants to go over my blood tests, so at least I will be able to understand them properly. If my bloods don't improve soon I am sure they will stop my tx, but perhaps by lowering my dosages the levels will pop up again, hope so. Someone once asked me if I could feel my bones and I didn't know what they meant at the time, but now I think I do and its not a nice feeling at all!
Dee has been stopping for a few days and has left her dog with us now for the winter. It's always bittersweet having to say goodbye to her for the winter, thank goodness for emails and webcams. So "fudge" the dog is my new walking buddy. He is not as young as he was and doesn't like to go power walking any more, so a gentle stroll around the village suits us both.
Estee has gone golfing this morning and Lee is coming to see me later this morning, so am looking forward to that.
The weather is so mild for November I am tempted to go fishing tomorrow. The thought of getting all wrapped up and sitting on the bank is very enticing, just not sure if I have got the strength to do all that casting. Maybe another 12 hour sleep tonight will strengthen me up.
Well, I didn't make the fishing on Sunday - just curled up in the chair with my book. Even fudge the dog didn't want to walk very far so that was lucky for me. It is just so frustrating when you want to do something but don't have the energy to do it, and not just the energy but the willpower to do it. It sounds like depression and even feels a bit like that, but it definately isn't, its more like my brain has gone for a walk and left me behind, lol!! Today I feel more "with it" so perhaps today and tomorrow will be good days.
The metamorphosis has started My eyelashes have thickened up and got longer and because they are dark I will be able to save a fortune on mascara this year, lol! Did I mention I had been hat buying? The next stage should be hair loss so I wanted to be ready for that. I've got a lovely trilby and scarf aka Kylie Minogue and a colourful pull on cotton hat and a rather wonderful woolly creation with pom poms on strings. The skin on my face has improved no end whilst on tx. I wouldn't say I looked 10 years younger but people have commented on how well I look (I do, even if I don't feel it!!) I always get weighed on a Monday morning and another lb has dropped off since last week, I'll soon be at the 10% body weight loss at this rate.
I went to the doctors this morning and she just wanted to go over my blood results like I thought. It was my iron levels that were worrying her. They should be around 60 and mine were 600 plus. The riba's do this. The liver makes iron whilst on tx even though my hb's are low and I am anaemic but it would be lethal to try and do anything about it. I'm not sure how iron levels affect me, maybe someone will let me know.
It was shot 14 on Tuesday and I've done nothing but sleep ever since. I even had to go to bed yesterday afternoon for a couple of hours and then I went back at 6.30pm and slept through until 6am this morning. I had a headache, felt nauseus and was shivery so its maybe something to do with the thyroid. Strewth, every day there is something new to battle with! I've also started sneezing up to a dozen times a day, no idea what that is about.
I've run out of books to read so Kate has kindly downloaded "The DaVinci Code" for me. It will be wonderful to just sit there with my head phones on and not have to read anything, just listen, bliss!!
So, another und yesterday! It feels good but again musn't dwell too long on it cos I still have a lot of work to do. The pcr they do 6 months after tx finishes is the really big one.... if you get an und then you are 98.5% sure that the virus will not come back. My thyroid is still posing a problem but I can have pills for it if it gets any worse (that's the good news!) but they will affect my bloods (the bad news!) So I feel like I am continuing on tx by the skin of my teeth only, or whatever the saying is. Dr Sree said I had now lost 10% of my body weight and because of this he would have been reviewing my med dosages anyway.... so I am to continue on 4 riba's which are now right dose for my weight and the reduced interferon which isn't too bad, but we could do with 75% instead of 50% dose really. The pharmacy had run out of meds so I have to go back today to collect them - or at least I'm hoping Lee will cos she is in the area today. Strangely, I was mildly upset at having my routine disrupted... Tuesday is my day of winding down, indulging in a nice bubbly bath, etc. I was most put out that I couldn't do all that, lol!! But I will be able to do all that tonight instead, I bet I end up getting the days muddled, I shall have a really bad week not knowing if I'm coming or going, lol! You think I'm joking, but I'm not!! I've never been a routine type person until starting tx but now I like the way Tuesday follows Monday - every week. I guess when your world has been turned upside down it feels good to cling on to bits of "normal life", and by following routines you don't have to worry about brain fog - it all just comes automatically.
I continue to have few sx's at the moment. I have the pain across my shoulders which is the liver nerve area, so that's to be expected I suppose (feels like my head is too heavy) still sleeping for 12 hours every night, my eyelashes are long and lustrous (a bonus) I feel breathless when walking, so have to go at a slower pace. I also feel nauseous from time to time and heat resistant and that is the thyroid. Next week will be shot 16 and one third of the way through tx, sounds good to me!!
I am officially one third of the way through tx today - big fanfare, yippeeeeee!! A week or two after christmas and I will be half way .... I know you shouldn't wish your time away, but I am doing this year, lol!! The sooner its next July the better, it can't come quick enough. Such a terrible waste of a year, because you just cannot do anything constructive at all, well i can't. Well, the only thing I can do is take my meds regularly and keep fighting and killing this damned ugly, revolting, nasty, vicious virus.
My weight seems to be falling off me at the moment and I have rediscovered ribs and hip bones that I thought were lost forever not to mention a rather nice shapely waist making a long overdue appearance. Actually they disappeared after chrissi last year when I started to feel ill and couldn't exercise anymore, so its good to have them back - makes me feel a bit more like me!
I was trimming a large shrub in the garden on Saturday and when I had finished I bent down to clear away the last bits of debris and keeled over. I decided it was time I went in but then I was walking like I'd had too much to drink, wobbling all over the place. No idea what that was about. Don't think I'll be driving for a while though!!
Still sleeping 10-12 hours every night and I get grumpy and cross if I get too tired, but I did manage a whole day in the office yesterday so I was very pleased with that. I have also been aware of my liver area giving me some pain, but no idea what that means.
The christmas panic has caught up with me today when I rezalised it was 5 weeks today to christmas day. How can I shop when I can't drive or walk far..... will have to be the internet I guess.
I have posted my latest blood results on the "test results" page, not much change except my hb has fallen slightly - I really don't want it to go any lower or else we will be in dangerous waters.
So shot #16 to look forward to later today and before that a possible trip to waitrose to get some groceries, depending how busy the office is.
For the first time since starting treatment I have managed to put a full week in at work, I am really pleased with that. Wednesday was very hard work (day after shot day) and I had to go to bed at 7pm. lol!
Estee has gone golfing this morning and it is absolutely freezing out there, for once I don't envy him at all! I'm staying where its warm and I've got my christmas shopping list at the ready so we are off virtual shopping this morning...... wonder if I should wear my new coat? It's beautiful, calf length, fitted at the waist and then gently filling out with a half belt at the back, single breasted with black buttons, gorjus!
My hair is now starting to fall out. It seems to go from the front first, around the hairline, consequently I've got a real stubby little fringe. I had a couple of bad dreams where there was clumps of hair on my pillow when I woke up in the morning. If I get that dream again I'm straight round to the hairdresser and get it all cut off. Other than that it has been a good week and I wish I could rely of having another good week next week, but musn't get greedy!
Shot #17 on Tuesday and it completely wiped me out. I had to have a long nap in the middle of the day yesterday and I still went to bed at 6.30pm. You can never tell what this tx is gonna do to you next. I haven't lost any more weight this week, so that is good news. I should get a copy of my bloods from the doctors later today, so that might show something, although am sure Dr Sree would have rang if there was anything very different.
I've got most of my chrissi shopping done now thanks to the internet. There are just a few bits that I can't get so maybe Estee will take me into town this Sunday, weather and health permitting.
There has been a lot of unrest at the Forum and alot of people have left.... I'm not political and am not getting involved in any of it. It is still the best place to get reliable, good information so I shall continue to visit it.
I hate these long dark days before chrissi, it is the worst time of the year for me. There's no sun, the weather is cold, damp and grey, its just horrible.
Later that day........ the doctors haven't got my blood results back yet, so I rang Dr Sree's secretary and she hadn't got them either... hope they haven't got lost!
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My eyelashes have thickened up and got longer and because they are dark I will be able to save a fortune on mascara this year, lol! Did I mention I had been hat buying? The next stage should be hair loss so I wanted to be ready for that. I've got a lovely trilby and scarf aka Kylie Minogue and a colourful pull on cotton hat and a rather wonderful woolly creation with pom poms on strings. The skin on my face has improved no end whilst on tx. I wouldn't say I looked 10 years younger but people have commented on how well I look (I do, even if I don't feel it!!) I always get weighed on a Monday morning and another lb has dropped off since last week, I'll soon be at the 10% body weight loss at this rate. 
January 2008