I feel quite humble, dunno why, and its not much good feeling like that when you've got a damn dragon of a virus to slay is it. Mustn't fall down now with the end in sight. I'm far too excited - its like all my birthday's are arriving at once and I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.
I rang the doctors surgery to check they accepted sharp boxes, so I could be ready to take it down there tomorrow.... and they said the local council has to collect them. So I have to leave it in a safe place outside and they will call within a week, might be as soon as tomorrow. So I shall have to sit with my last jab on my desk all day and quickly do the necessary if a large dustcart arrives to collect it, What else would the council use? Maybe little white vans or something? What happens to it then? Does it get burnt? I should have asked.
I am having my hair trimmed tomorrow, that will mean the last bit of blond colour will disappear and I will come face to face with myself for the first time in years, lol!
I have also booked a pedicure and a manicure for a couple of weeks time, as a special treat, so I'm looking forward to that. The salon use all natural products - no nasties at all, just the job! The weather is warming up nicely and it might be time to go into sandals by then.
I sincerely hope this week passes without incident and that next week we can have one massive big blog celebration because by then my tx will be complete. I might be limping and be a bit sore, bruised and battered but I'm down not out and the finishing line is in sight. Yipppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
I didn't exactly gallop across the finishing line, it was more like limping across, but I dunnit and I can't tell you how good it feels! I was 54 years old when I started this tx last year and I now feel 104 years old. I have tried many times to put into words just what this tx feels like but I think you have to go through it to really understand it, so I'm not going to try any more. My "tx buddy" from West Yorkshire finished a couple of days ago and this is how she put it "I cannot believe it's finally over 48 weeks at full dose, none missed, no rescue drugs and no dose reductions, but hell!. Gall bladder tattered, bowels screaming, stomach knotted, head shredded, skin knackered, hair (what hair?), eyesight buggered, joints aged 90 years - other than that a piece of cake" . You can see why we need to detox and try and get our bodies into some sort of shape again, lol!
I have had so much support from friends and family, I can't thank them enough. I even made some new friends through the forums and I am grateful for all their understanding and support, especially to Ina. She continued to support me even though she had to abandon her own treatment. Thanks Ina. I must mention Estee who has lived with me ( mostly uncomplainingly) for the last 48 weeks. He's bullied me into eating when I had no appetite, refused to let me drive the car in case I was overcome with riba-rage, or fell asleep at the wheel, took over the running of the office so I was under no pressure, rubbed cream into my sore, itchy body and always managed to make me smile, If there was such a thing as a "Carer's Cup" he ought to have it. I'm not going to mention any more names, but thanks to each and every one of you for you support, you all know who you are xxx
I'd like to say I am brimming over with energy now that I have had a full week off tx, but I'm afraid its a lot more subtle than that. Hardly worth mentioning really. But that's only because I'm very impatient to get "back to normal" if there is such a thing anymore.
I had a full day out last Thursday walking round an historic house and its gardens and had a picnic in the grounds which was really nice. My feet ached badly the next day. I do seem to get quite a bit of pain in some of my joints that I never did before, especially my feet and my shoulders.
Sunday I went fishing with Estee and I hadn't done that since about week 4 of my treatment. It was a lovely warm day with just a slight breeze and I really enjoyed being out in the open air. Interestingly, there was another man and his wife fishing and a man and his daughter fishing. It's surprising how many women do fish. I used my new plastic maggots and they worked a treat... you can't tell them from real ones once they are on the hook.
I also cleaned out the inside of our vehicle and got everything where I want it for when I start driving again. I'm coming to terms with the fact that it was a long treatment and recovery is going to be long as well. I set myself little tasks which is quite good fun. This next week I have to lose 2lbs which will take me under **stone! I am also going to drive myself to the asthma clinic on Wednesday (something I should have had checked last year but I put it off until after tx because I wasn't sure how my chest would react to the meds) and I'm hoping to go to the golf driving range and hit a few balls - that should be interesting with my achey shoulder and achey elbow, shoulder is on the left and the elbow hurts on the right so they might balance each other out.
So I guess I am trying to do more things, but its all very leisurely and I think if I don't get it done one day I can always do it the next day. Considering time may still be of the essence I've become very philosophical and laid back!!
Yesterday I had a biopsy done at the Dermatology Clinic on the "hole in my forehead". The Doctor thinks it is Porokeratosis of Mibelli but has done the biopsy to discount there being anything untoward wrong. The P of M starts as a small brown spot, which I did have on the side of my forehead. Due to my almost non existent immune system it has somehow triggered the thing off. They are harmless but ugly and very difficult to get rid of! Needless to say I can now stop applying the fungal cream and blaming the dog, bless him. I have about 3 weeks to wait for the result and see what happens next.
How is the detoxing going? Well, I was very tired after yesterday and slept 12 hours. It seems to take very little to wear me out. My head feels clearer and because of that I feel I can do more but then my body will remind me that I can't. As I sit here I have a stretchy support bandage on my left ankle and another one on my right knee. My other ankle is also very painful, not to mention my left shoulder and my right elbow. I'm nearly off my feet! There are one or two other minor problems which I have to take up with the local doctor - too embarrassing to mention here!!
Lots of headaches, and even more susceptible to sunlight than I was on tx as it has an immediate, painful effect on my eyes. Hats and sunglasses are essential when going outside.
I did not lose the 2lbs I wanted to - too much joint pain to exercise! I didn't make it to the golf range either, but hoping to this week. I had a lovely note from our Ladies' Captain at the golf club wishing me well now my tx has finished.
Tomorrow I am having a manicure and a pedicure at a salon that uses all natural, non chemical products. I think a little bit of pampering will do me good! It has been booked for about three weeks now, so I am looking forward to it. I am also hoping that I can drive myself there - that will be another "first".
I am still awaiting the result of the pcr test I had done when tx finished - although it should be through any day now. Can't deny I'm feeling a tad nervous, but whatever will be will be.
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February 2008